


some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences

by ElixirBB



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/M, HEA, Non-Linear Narrative, TW: mentions of people dying, basically I desperately wanted to write a soulmate fic and all I could think of were these two, so take this with a grain of salt, there are some things from the show and some things that I made up, tw: Mentions of Suicide, tw: mentions of a car accident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26962282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElixirBB/pseuds/ElixirBB
Summary: That’s the thing with soulmates.You don’t know they’re your actual soulmate until they die.
Relationships: Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa, mentions of Daisy & Grant, mentions of Daisy and Lincoln, mentions of Phil/May, mentions of fitzsimmons - Relationship
Comments: 25
Kudos: 102





	some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first Agents of SHIELD fic. I've watched the show for a while and honestly, no other couple seem to have captured as much as these two, so hopefully, you guys like this! I just really needed to get this out and I really hope that you enjoy this little ride! Title is taken from part of a quote by Emery Allen. 
> 
> Please heed the tags as there are some triggers within this story. 
> 
> Any mistakes are mine and mine alone!

That’s the thing with soulmates.

You don’t know they’re your actual soulmate until they die.

* * *

Death has surrounded Daisy ever since she could remember.

It took away her parents.

It took away the only foster family that wanted to adopt her, that wanted to keep her, that wanted to give her a home. But then, one rainy night ruined it all and in between the sadness, in between Daisy screaming for them to _come back_ , she is carried into another car, leaving behind the wreckage of what could have _finally_ been a family.

Death follows her as she gets older, a cold breath across the nape of her neck, taunting her with taking away the people she’s come to love the most.

And she finds herself holding her breath when, one-by-one, her boyfriends, her friends, die and she waits for the stinging feeling on some random part of her body, with their last words.

* * *

“I find it romantic.” One of the girls at the orphanage, Sarah, says when the topic of soulmates comes up. “That even in death, love manages to manifest.”

Daisy, still young then, going by another name that she hates, that she tries to forget, that she never wants to remember, listens intently, her brown eyes following the older girls as they speak about soulmates and romance.

Lily, one of the other girls scoffs and props herself against the wall. “What’s romantic about that? Spending your life with someone, loving them, doing everything with them and then they die, and you don’t even know if they were the one for you?”

“But that means that someone _else_ is _still_ out there for you. Designed just for you.”

“ _So what_?” Lily all but snarls. “Are you supposed to forget the one who’s _always_ been there? Are you supposed to forget about the life you built with someone else because some cosmic entity decided they’re not the one for you? Or even worse. They are and they’re _dead_. They’re still fucking dead.” She shakes her head, her small frame shaking with barely restrained fury. “Get over it, Sarah. This whole entire concept of soulmates is bullshit. Because it’s rooted in death.” Lily takes a breath and Daisy, who is not Daisy, is transfixed by her anger, by her passion, by the veiled grief in her eyes. “Death is not romantic. It’s a fucking tragedy.”

Lily leaves then, stomping her way throughout the orphanage and Sarah, who Daisy never liked anyways, rolls her eyes and whispers to the other girls in the room.

Daisy shuffles off the bed, following the noise that Lily left in her wake.

She finds her outside, in the cool night air, staring up at the sky with tears in her eyes and tear tracks staining her rosy cheeks.

Daisy sits down next to her and waits in silence.

Lily sniffles and lifts the right sleeve of her thin shirt. There are words there in a faded grey ink that marks the loss of a loved one. The loss of a soulmate.

_I’ve got the stuff for smore’s, I’ll be home in –_

And then it cuts off, a sentence never finished. A thought never completed. A life taken.

“It was my sister. She took care of me when mom died. She worked two jobs while going to school and making sure I had everything I needed.” Her eyes never leaves the sky and Daisy wonders what she sees there. She wonders if she wants to see anything or if she’s looking for a sign that the nuns seem to proclaim are written in the stars. “She was walking home from the store. A driver ran the red light and she died while on the phone with me.”

Daisy shuffles closer, partly for comfort, partly for warmth. “I’m sorry.” She says quietly.

“Me too.” Lily mumbles.

And then Lily lets out a choked sob and doesn’t stop crying until Sister Daphne comes out and drags them inside.

* * *

It’s at that moment, watching Lily sob, watching the nuns chide her and snap at her for feeling the grief of loss, watching the other girls stare at Lily as if she’s some sort of anomaly, that she decides she doesn’t like the idea of soulmates.

She doesn’t like the grief they leave behind, painted on skin in a dull grey.

Or, nothing at all.

* * *

_A soulmate doesn’t have to be romantic,_ Lily tells her before Sister Daphne takes them back inside that night, _they’re just that one person who gets you so completely that there’s no question they were always meant to be the most important in your life_.

* * *

When Lily turns eighteen, she leaves the orphanage and Daisy begs and begs and begs for her to take her with her.

Because ever since that night, Daisy and Lily have become close, inseparable, almost sisters.

(They spend the majority of their nights laying in the grass, staring at the sky with the stars as Lily points out constellations and tells Daisy stories of gods and goddesses that the nuns scold as heresy and pagan and full of made up little stories told to heathens thousands of years ago.

Lily always rolls her eyes and nudges Daisy, tells her to _always look to the stars and the find the brightest one, it’s the North Star_ , Lily says, _it’ll guide you home_.)

So, Daisy is inconsolable when Lily pries her little fingers off her waist and tells her that Daisy can’t come with her because _where she’s going, no one can follow_.

“But I _love_ you.” Daisy sobs, her eyes stinging, her lungs burning, body wracked with cries and she feels the world shaking around her. “Don’t leave.”

There are pools of unshed tears in Lily’s eyes as she says _goodbye_ quietly and tells her to _always look at the stars, for the North Star, because it will always lead you home_.

_I don’t know where home is_ , Daisy wants to tell her but never does.

And like a foreshadow for the dozens of people who will come into her life and then leave, Lily disappears, leaving Daisy a sobbing mess in the orphanage that was never home but almost began to feel familiar.

* * *

Lily leaving, hurts. And Daisy wonders, as she sits by her windowsill, watching the rain come down if the reason it hurts so much is because maybe, just _maybe_ , Lily was her soulmate, the one spark of light in her grey life.

But then, Sister Daphne comes to find her and she’s a younger nun, her face still round, framed by her habit. Her eyes are red, her hands are shaking as she tells Daisy in a shaky voice that Lily was found in the river, dead.

It hadn’t even been more than five hours since she left the orphanage.

Daisy blinks, and it’s like she’s possessed, trying desperately to claw at her clothes, trying to see if there are any words marring her skin. There isn’t any and she doesn’t know whether to be relieved or upset.

She doesn’t realize it until Sister Daphne has her arms around Daisy’s thrashing body that she’s screaming, the walls echoing with grief she doesn’t quite understand.

But Daisy knows death.

They’re old friends, she, and death.

* * *

Lily’s words haunt her for the rest of her life. They follow her around, from home to home. Person to person. Friend to friend. Loss to loss.

When she overhears people talk about soulmates. When she watches a movie based on soulmates, trying to twist it into a happy ending when there is none.

_The entire concept of soulmates is bullshit._ _Because it’s rooted in death._

When she sees someone doubled over in pain, screams ripping through their body randomly and instantly, everyone around them _knows_ that they are witnessing something intensely personal, the death of a loved one. The death of a soulmate and the sudden realization that they were _always_ there.

And now, in a moment, in an instance, they’re _not_.

_Death is not romantic. It’s a fucking tragedy._

(There is always a rush after events like this. Always a flurry of people whipping out their phones and calling their loved ones and telling them they love them. And then, an hour later, everything is back to normal and the city returns to its hustle and bustle, but Daisy will always think of the person left alone, and she wonders if they trace the grey words on their skin).

And at night, when she’s left the system that never did her any good, left behind all the families who didn’t want her and the people who pretended to be her friends, driving her shitty van up hills and hills, watching the blinding city lights blink in the distance, she tries desperately to search the sky for the brightest star.

_Always look at the stars, for the North Star, because it will always lead you home._

It doesn’t help that, even after all this time, Daisy still doesn’t know where home is.

* * *

_I don’t like New York,_ Daisy tells Lily one night _. I want to go where the sun always shines and there’s water beneath my toes._

_California._ Lily says. _You’d like California._ There is a pause, a beat between heartbeats _. I’ll take you there one day._

_Daisy’s smile never leaves her face, taking an encyclopedia from the orphanage library and looking up California and as many cities as she can, trying to create a map of all the places they can see._

* * *

This, is the first and last time Lily lies to her.

* * *

Years later, when she leaves the orphanage at eighteen, New York City is a blurred landscape of harsh lights in her rear-view mirror.

She treks her way across the country until she reaches the West Coast and she takes a piece of paper, battered and torn from folding and unfolding and checks off each city on the list she made years ago, when a promise was still fresh in her mind and there was hope blooming in her little heart.

Her last stop, the stop she makes her place of residence, the place she thinks will become _home_ to her, is Los Angeles and it’s a little bit like New York, in that it’s huge and traffic is a nightmare but there is a life here that wasn’t visible back in New York and she parks her van next to a beach and staggers out, shucking off her sneakers and socks and wades through the cold Pacific waters until she’s up to her knees, eyes locked on the cloudless blue sky.

_I made it, Lily. I made it._

_This_ , Daisy promises, _is where I will build my home._

* * *

Promises, Daisy finds, are always meant to be broken.

* * *

_Home is rarely ever a place,_ Lily tells her, _it’s more about the people. It always seems to be about the people._

* * *

Miles is fun while he lasts.

And she means this because he fucking _left_ her for S.H.I.E.L.D., to find and she doesn’t know if she’ll ever forgive him.

(She does end up forgiving him because it turns out to be the best and the worst thing that ever happened to her, but she’ll never be able to tell him that.)

* * *

She thinks she could love Grant.

She almost believes she does.

Until he turns out to be Hydra and suddenly, she _hates_ him for making her think she could love him. She hates him for using her. For manipulating her.

For making her almost happy.

(He dies and her skin remains unmarked and she lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.)

* * *

Lincoln Campbell was everything she thinks she could have wanted in a soulmate.

He was kind. And funny. And smart. And brave.

_So brave._

And he _loved_ her.

He loved her _so much_ that he _died_ for her.

He loved her _so much_ that he saved the world so she wouldn’t have to.

She doesn’t remember much after he says those three little words that seem to be caught in her throat, unable to worm their way out.

She doesn’t remember Phil carrying her to her bunk. She doesn’t remember May’s comforting hand in her hair. She doesn’t remember the way Jemma crawled into her bunk in the middle of night to hold her. She doesn’t remember the soft hug Fitz gives her the next morning.

She does remember stripping off her clothes in the morning light, the sky a blinding shade of blues and oranges and pinks. She remembers examining every part of her body, searching for those letters, searching for those words to remember him by.

She’s desperate when she realizes that they’re not there because she wants _proof_. She wants proof that _he_ was made for _her_ the way _she_ was made for _him_.

But she can’t find them. Instead, her skin remains unblemished.

But she remembers the words anyways. She remembers the way his breath hitched. The way she could hear the tears in his voice, the way fear lined his words, the way he gave her everything without her asking. Without her even wanting it.

_I love you._

* * *

_The way we’ve been raised, the way we’ve been treated, in and out of homes that never wanted us, chartered off to families who only use us for a paycheque, it’s hard for us to remember that we’re capable of loving with every bone in our body and being loved in return._

* * *

She thinks Lincoln is the first person to say those words and the first time she believes them.

She comes to fear those words.

So, she closes herself off, unable to take any other type of pain except physical.

She can deal with physical damage.

It’s the emotional damage she doesn’t know how to deal with.

* * *

She doesn’t love Robbie the way he loves her.

So, when she finds out that he’s the Ghost Rider, she lets out a shrill disbelieving laugh because _of course._

“Do you,” Robbie starts, when they’re at his kitchen table and he’s _Robbie_ and not some demon hellbent on revenge, “Believe in soulmates?”

She thinks of Lily who died.

She thinks of Miles who died.

She thinks of Grant who died.

She thinks of Lincoln (and it _hurts_ , it fucking hurts so badly thinking about him), who died.

“No.” She says, her voice hard and unrecognizable. “I don’t.” The words come unbidden, always lurking just beyond her shoulder in the form a ghost of a girl she used to know. “This whole entire concept of soulmates is bullshit. Because it’s rooted in death. Death is not romantic. It’s a fucking tragedy.”

Robbie nods like he understands her and maybe, just _maybe_ , he does.

And because Daisy can’t take the silence, she asks him. “You?”

Robbie shrugs. “To have a soulmate, you need to have a soul. I sold mine.” He smiles and it’s a little bit twisted and a little bit sad.

A little bit alone.

* * *

_Just because I don’t like the idea of soulmates doesn’t mean you have to hate it. You always have a choice. Don’t ever let anyone take your choices away from you._

* * *

The idea of soulmates has always been there.

Assuming that everyone has to have one out there, somewhere.

She never really thought of the people who never end up having one and she wonders if they feel like they’re lucky or if they feel like they’re missing out on something.

She sometimes thinks about Robbie, who’s choice was taken from him and wonders if he ever regretted his choice. Or if he would make the same ones over and over again.

If just to escape the pain of having someone die and think you never did enough to keep them alive.

* * *

She never gets the chance to ask him.

* * *

The thing about being involved with S.H.I.E.L.D., is that there’s always _something_.

So, she throws herself into work and into her team who hold her up when she needs it and who support her, even at her lowest. Who she fights with to feel like she’s alive and who have slowly but surely carved out a space in her heart she didn’t think existed anymore.

She loses herself in work and flies into space more times than she can count and meets heroes and villains and gods and goddesses from the stories that Lily told her, the ones that the nuns always condemned.

She fights to save the world. She fights to save her team who have become her family.

And she doesn’t think about soulmates.

* * *

_You’re going to do so much good. I can feel it. You’re going…you’re going to change the world. Just…never forget to always look up at stars._

_(Years later, Daisy will know what Lily was really trying to tell her._

_Never forget me.)_

* * *

It’s a lie…that she doesn’t think about soulmates. Because she’s drunk off of something of the alien variety (and fuck, she didn’t ever _think_ she would be saying that) and she’s moping to Simmons under a table while a party rages around them, that she _wants her own Fitz_. Not _Fitz_ but someone _like_ Fitz.

(Because Simmons and Fitz have died like a hundred times throughout the times Daisy has known them and the first time, Fitz cried when he realized Jemma’s last words were imprinted on his skin. But then Jemma came back to life and it was like watching a fairy-tale ending. Until the next time it was ripped away from them.)

But Daisy wants someone where she doesn’t have to guess, or wonder if they’re her soulmate because it’s so innate, they would be so in sync with each other the way Simmons and Fitz are and the way no one could ever mistake them for being anything but soulmates.

She surprises herself with the confession because she never thought she _wanted_ a soulmate.

Not after Lily.

Not after Grant. 

Not after Lincoln died and her skin was and still is left bare.

Apparently, her confession only surprises _her_ because Simmons looks at her with that look, the one that is so sweet and genuine and reaches out for her hand and Daisy lets herself be held because it feels like it’s been _forever_ since she’s just been held without _world-ending-ramifications_.

“You deserve a soulmate.”

_But I don’t want them to die,_ Daisy thinks but doesn’t say.

* * *

_They say there are signs when you meet someone. It’s supposed to be minuscule, so that you don’t even know the difference, but some people swear that they just know when someone is the one. I always wondered what it would be like to feel that._

_What did you feel?_

_Nothing. Just emptiness and grief when she died._

* * *

(She thinks she should have realized it way earlier than she did. But she’s either too busy trying to save the timeline or too busy having a slight mental breakdown with the amount of internal fangirling.

She likes to think it was the former but she’s fairly sure it’s the latter.)

* * *

She stares at Daniel J. Sousa’s black and white photo and she feels the flutter in her stomach, the sudden increase of her heart beating, the clamminess of her hands, the way her cheeks flush, the way her mind races, the way her entire body feels _alive_.

But then she thinks about Simmons and Coulson and she does what she does best and that’s compartmentalize and goes to work.

* * *

There’s an instant connection between them. Daisy feels it but like with everything else, she ignores it.

Because Daisy knows how his story ends and it doesn’t have a happy ending.

* * *

It turns out, that Daisy _doesn’t_ know how the entire story ends, because they change the timeline ( _ish_ ) and suddenly, a man out of his own time is tagging along through different decades and partnering with her and it’s like something that was _missing_ is suddenly _filled_. She feels full and light and she doesn’t know _why_.

There is part of her that feels _complete_ and it _terrifies_ her.

* * *

She doesn’t care what Mack says. She doesn’t care what his orders were.

They should have wiped out the fucking Malick family when they had the chance.

She has some sort of semblance of coherent thought, in between the sound of Daniel’s voice and the weight of his body against hers, holding her to his chest, and his heart is beating so fast and hard and loud that Daisy can feel it, so, she vows that by the end of this hellish timeline, the end of this mission, she’s going to kill him.

And she’s going to enjoy it.

* * *

When she wakes up and sees Daniel there at her bedside, dozing lightly, keeping watch, she lets out a deep breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Because she vividly remembers him saying that he was going to stay in that previous timeline, that this was the end of the line for him, and Daisy remembers the stab in her gut. The way she felt, so alone, so terrified, of losing him when she just got him. And then she shakes her head and calls herself _stupid_ because she just _met_ the man and okay, _maybe_ , she read about him one too many times but that doesn’t give her the right to feel sad at the thought of him leaving.

* * *

The time loops are a nightmare. She thinks she’s developing whiplash.

And there is a swooping feeling in the pit of her stomach that there is something larger at play, because there’s always something larger at play.

_Always._

* * *

_The feeling is nothing like I’ve ever felt before. It’s the most painful thing anyone can experience. It leaves you empty. It leaves you hollow. It makes you feel like you’re alone despite everyone else around you. Losing but gaining your soulmate in the same moment is bittersweet and you want to scream and beg but mostly, you just cry._

* * *

She wakes up in a rush, bile rising in her throat as the glass dome hisses open and she jolts up, her heart beating fast, sweat lining her body and her eyes rove over the room until they land until a figure curled up in the chair. She staggers as she gets out of the bed, staring at him, breath coming out in heavy pants full of pain and relief.

She creeps closer, her throat closed as she peers at him, studying his body, studying the movement of his chest as she watches his body rise and fall with every breath he takes.

She quietly makes her way out of the room, her body still trying to recover from the previous time loop when she feels a stinging pain along her rib. Like someone is taking a tattoo gun and scraping her skin.

Everything is either heightened in these time loops or Daisy’s body still hasn’t recovered as much as it should have. She hisses, hand coming up to her side and careens into the wall, letting it anchor her for support. She reaches up and lifts her shift, wondering if one of her injuries didn’t heal. Wondering if she scraped it on something.

Instead, in grey lettering that isn’t quite as dull as it should have been, there are three little words: _so, it’s fine._

* * *

_Everything_ , Daisy thinks in horror as she looks behind her shoulder at the room she just left with the man out of time still slumbering in a chair he shouldn’t even know exists, _is not fine_ , as she thinks about the previous time loop and the way he died. The way he just reached in and grabbed it, sacrificing himself for her because in some twisted way he believes she’s more important to the time loop than he is.

As if, he is disposable and she’s not.

She remembers the agonizing pain watching blood pool in his mouth and down his chin and she is helpless to do anything but watch and feel the horrifying realization that he’s her soulmate and he’s dying in front of her and she can’t save him.

(She could never save any of them.)

* * *

Daisy doesn’t have time to think about it anymore because she watches Enoch die and it’s like losing part of herself over again.

* * *

She does end up seeing Simmons though, after everything is said and done.

“Hey.” Daisy says coming into the lab, eyes looking left and right, trying to decipher if anyone is near. “I have a question for you.”

“Of course.” Jemma says, because there is nothing that Daisy asks that Jemma won’t answer and she thinks back to Daniel and their conversation, with his final words on her skin that he doesn’t even know about.

“Soulmates.” Daisy starts, she walks towards Jemma and comes to a stop beside her, leaning against the metal counter. “Hypothetically speaking, if someone, who shouldn’t actually exist, died between space and time, but didn’t _actually_ die and the words still appeared on someone else’s skin…is that possible?”

Jemma frowns and Daisy wonders if she should just tell her the whole story but Daisy is _scared_.

She doesn’t want to see Daniel die again. She doesn’t want to feel that way ever again.

She doesn’t want to be that person who collapses in the middle of the day or in the middle of battle because her supposed other half died. She doesn’t want to be that person who people stare at in people and in abject horror because they _know_ what’s _happening_.

She doesn’t…she _can’t_.

Because it was hard when it happened to Lincoln and though she knows Daniel is alive, she doesn’t know for _how long_.

Because people Daisy Johnson loves, always seem to die.

“Are you saying that in one of the time loops Agent Sousa died and that triggered your soulmate mark?” She cocks her head to the side. “It’s not…unheard of. Especially not with S.H.I.E.L.D employees. Coulson and May are an example. Myself and Fitz.”

Daisy huffs slightly because she knows this. But it’s just…they’re _here_. They’ve _always_ been here. They’ve always been together in the same time period. “But he’s out of his time.” Daisy says, “he’s supposed to _already_ be dead in the original timeline. He’s…he’s…” _not supposed to be here_. And when they return will he disappear? Technically, Daisy Johnson doesn’t exist, so will _she_ even be there when they get back?

“Daisy.” Jemma says calmly, taking her hand in her own, holding them steady. “It doesn’t matter that he’s out of his own timeline. He’s _alive_ in this one and he’s your _soulmate_.” And then Jemma gives her a blinding grin, the one that stretches across her face and Daisy wonders how she can possibly smile even after everything that happened. “You’ve found the other part of yourself.”

Daisy gives her a pained smile and nods slowly, heart thumping and thanks her for her time.

* * *

_It’s weird_ , Daisy thinks, she always thought that team would end up being the second part of her.

* * *

Simmons gets kidnapped and held hostage by Nathaniel Malick and Daisy knows, she just fucking _knows_ that Deke was doing something stupid and didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late, but that doesn’t stop the rage that threatens to swallow her whole.

* * *

_They’re supposed to complement you. They’re supposed to even you out. The calm to your anger. The love to your hate. Everything with your soulmate, when you look back at it, seems complete in a way you’ll never be able to replicate._

* * *

It’s even weirder knowing that someone is your soulmate, but _they_ don’t know that they’re your soulmate.

And she wonders idly sometimes, because Daisy has died so many times during the time loops, so, shouldn’t he have her soulmate mark? Shouldn’t he already know?

And if he does and doesn’t want to say anything to her, what would that even mean?

But would he even have a mark? Would he _actually_ know if he can’t remember anything about the time loops?

Can a soulmate reject another?

There are so many questions she has and not enough time to answer them.

Because then Jiaying is there and she’s _everything_ Daisy ever wanted.

And then Daniel is pushing her towards her, and Daisy can _see_ her, the mother she _always_ wanted, the mother she always thought she deserved.

Part of her feels guilty because she still remembers the family that _could_ have been if the car accident didn’t happen. She remembers Lily and the way she looked out for Daisy at the orphanage and for a moment, she pushes them all away and concentrates on the woman who gave birth to her, the woman who was always supposed to love her and not torture her until her throat was raw from screaming.

But the _timeline is already screwed up_ , according to Daniel (and really though, _does he know_?) so what could a little conversation hurt, what could the truth, no matter how vague it is, hurt?

And so, for once, instead of running, she takes a breath and takes a chance.

* * *

She’s going to kill Nathaniel fucking Malick and if she has to take her sister down with him, so be it.

* * *

When she lets go of Kora, she sees the way the others look at her. Like _she’s_ the ticking time bomb instead of Kora and her warped sense of loyalty to that fucking _psychopath_.

And Daisy wants to be sympathetic to her, she _does_ , because she’s been in her shoes, but Kora isn’t Simmons.

Simmons is her sister in everything, but blood and blood has _never_ meant anything to Daisy before, she doesn’t want it to start meaning anything now.

It’s the look Daniel gives her when she stands next to May that gets her.

The look of something close to horror, awe, and fear. He doesn’t look away from her, always studying her every twitch, her every breath and she wants to roar at him. She wants to lift her shirt and tell him that he died, and his last words are marked on her skin. She wants to tell him that she’s not a monster, but she has monstrous tendencies.

(And is that okay with him?)

She doesn’t want him looking at her like she’s a liability.

She can take that look from everyone else, but she doesn’t think she can take it from him.

* * *

_It doesn’t matter though,_ Lily says, _soulmate or not, it doesn’t matter. All that matters are the people who will always be there for you. The people who jump in a fight that doesn’t involve them, if only to make sure you’re protected. The people who would carve out galaxies trying to find you, those people are the ones that matter._

* * *

She should have known better, because Daniel J. Sousa, will follow Daisy across the galaxy if that’s what it takes.

And it turns out, that’s _exactly_ what it takes.

* * *

Their second ( _first_? She’s _really_ going to have to confess everything when it’s all over and done with) sends shivers up and down her spine and she almost tells him everything then.

She almost told Mack everything when they were talking, and Daniel was piloting but Mack already looked smug enough that Daisy didn’t want to give him anymore ammunition.

But she doesn’t tell Daniel because even _she_ recognizes that it’s not the right time. That they need to save Simmons and Deke and they need to save the world.

_Again._

* * *

If they live through this and apparently, according to Fitz, that’s kind of belly up at this point because they still managed to get something wrong across time and space and she wants to yell at him that _of course_ they got some things wrong, they were _fucking with time and space_ , she’s going to _strangle_ him.

Because no.

_No._

He doesn’t _get_ to do this. He doesn’t get to sacrifice himself for the greater good.

Not again.

She already lost someone to that schtick, she already lost him to that schtick before, she’s not going for _third time’s a charm_.

And then it occurs to her that he _still doesn’t know_. That he doesn’t know _anything_ , so while he tries to make a speech of being given a _second chance_ and that he’s _grateful_ , he holds her hands and looks at her imploringly, as if trying to get her to understand that he _needs_ to do this, that he wasn’t made to survive and that he should have always _died_.

And Daisy wants to cry and scream and wail because it’s not fair. _It’s not fucking fair_.

But she doesn’t even get the chance because Deke blows a raspberry and rolls his eyes, telling them that he’s going to stay and he gets in a couple of cheap shots towards Daniel but Daisy can’t even bring herself to come to his defence because _he was going to leave her_.

And then Deke tells her that he wants her to be _happy_ , that _she deserves to be happy_ and suddenly, she’s a child again and she’s with the man and woman who _could_ have been her family and they tell her that she deserves to be loved and that they want to be that for her. She remembers Lily who maps out the stars for her and tells her to _always look for the brightest star and find her way home_ and that _one day, everything will make sense and you’ll be loved by people who care for you because that’s what you deserve._

For so long, Daisy thought she would never find that kind of love.

And then she _did_ , multiple times over by the people in the room and by the man who is still holding her hands, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles against her pulse point, as if trying to convince himself that she is alive and here, in front of him.

“Deke.” Daisy chokes out, her eyes watering.

He shrugs his shoulders and gives her a smile that is charming and annoying and so entirely Deke.

“Just be happy, Daisy.” He throws a thumb in Daniel’s direction. “Even if it’s with Grandpa over here.”

Daisy smiles at him and then, they leave.

* * *

_Promise me_ , Lily whispers the night before she leaves the orphanage, _promise me that you’ll live your life. Promise me that you’ll be happy. That you’ll do everything in your power to help people the way no one helped us. Promise me that you’ll always remember that you deserve to be happy and that you deserve to be loved. Promise me._

_I promise,_ Daisy mumbles sleepily. _I promise._

* * *

(It takes her a bit, but she fulfills that promise.)

* * *

Everything is a rush and in between all of that, Fitz pulls her aside and tells her that there’s a ninety-five percent chance she’s going to die if they don’t manage to convince Kora that she needs to be on her side.

He gives her a mournful look, one that is full of unspoken apologies.

“Well then,” Daisy says, her voice tight. “We’ll just have to make sure that Kora sees Nathaniel for who he truly is.”

And then she walks away because she can’t look at Fitz anymore, because no matter how jumbled Jemma’s brain is, she’s _here_ , with him and they’re _together_ again, against all the odds.

The odds never liked Daisy.

* * *

Daniel doesn’t know that she’s basically going on a suicide mission. He’s still under the impression that they’re going with another plan and Daisy doesn’t want to ruin that for him because if she knows him, and by now, she’s pretty sure she _does_ , he’d probably follow her.

And this, this is something that neither he, nor anyone else, can follow her into.

She sees him before they leave and he grabs her hands again, eyes searching hers. “Come back, okay?”

And Daisy can’t bear to look at him anymore, can’t bear to have him looking at her like she hangs the moon and the stars, so she leans up on her toes and kisses him, choking back a sob, wondering if this is the last time she’s going to kiss him, the last time she’s going to touch him, to feel his heart beat against hers. When she pulls away, she can see him follow her path, trying to kiss her again but she can’t, she _can’t._

She stands in front of him, unshed tears burning her eyes and she says three little words: “It’ll be fine.”

(She wants so desperately to tell him another set of three little words, but they are stuck in her throat.

Because she doesn’t want the first time she tells him she loves to be his realization that she’s his soulmate and that she’s dead.)

* * *

This, will be the last time she lies to him.

* * *

She wonders if he felt it.

The moment she died.

She wishes she could tell him that she’s _sorry_. That she would have given everything for it not to end up like this, for him not to feel this pain that she remembers so acutely.

She remembers wanting to tell him but being so scared because this man, this man who shouldn’t even exist, has given her no one has been able to for a long time.

_Hope_.

* * *

She’s still groggy from Kora’s powers zapping her back to life, so when she makes her way back to Zephyr One, she’s cradled between Kora and May, each holding her up, her head lolling back and forth.

She rolls her head and makes eye contact with everyone else in front of her before Daniel makes his way to the forefront, his eyes rimmed red, hands clenched into fists. She can see Yo-Yo grimace as she makes her way towards Mack, talking in low voices.

But all Daisy has eyes for are Daniel who looks at her like he’s _haunted_ by her.

She stumbles out of Kora and May’s grasp and falls into his arms.

He’s not ready for her but he still catches her, like she knew he would.

“I wanted to tell you.” She mumbles. “But I didn’t know how.”

“Daisy.” He whispers reverently into her hair, gathering her up more securely in his arms, his body shaking with restrained sobs. “Daisy. Daisy. I thought…I thought I _lost_ you.”

“I’m here.” She breathes. “I’m here.”

* * *

One night, a year into the future, when they’re in space surrounded by a kaleidoscope of colours, he whispers into the bare skin of shoulder three little words: “I love you.”

It’s not the first time he says it and it’s not the last and Daisy smiles, burrowing herself into his arms, watching the lightshow from the window in their room, counting the stars and searching for the brightest one out of habit, the one that will always lead her home. “I love you too.”

The words come easily to her now, almost as if breathing.

And she spots it, the brightest star, reflected from the glass, into the dark chocolate brown eyes of one Daniel J. Sousa, the man out of time, the man who shouldn’t even be alive.

That’s fine with Daisy though, because technically, she doesn’t exist and they’re words are grey, not as dull as they should be but there, along the lines of their ribs, reminding them of everything that happened and that home is in each other’s arms.

* * *

_How will I know where home is?_

_It’s a feeling_ , Lily says, _of being safe. Of being loved._

_That sounds nice._

_It is. It’s the nicest._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed and I've got some more planned for these two so I'm super nervous and excited and I feel like I could throw up, lol. Wherever you guys are in the world, I hope that you're staying safe.


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